I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This baby is an asshole
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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