Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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