Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I hope im prettier

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying

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(708): View more from Illinois

she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"

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(613): View more from Ontario

Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday

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(760): View more from California

I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?

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(707): View more from California

Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...

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