I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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