So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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