I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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