but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
