I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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