I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize
