Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize