He uses pillows to masturbate.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
