I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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