dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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