Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
