the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
