i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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