Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
