life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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