dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
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Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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