The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
