Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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