who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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