Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
