just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
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