I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
