Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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