I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
