when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
