I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
