i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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