but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
