If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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