WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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