ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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