I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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