Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
