why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
