for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If I die, sorry about rent.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
