i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
