do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
