just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
