he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
