I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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