I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize