Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
third nipple confirmed
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
