This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
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