Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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