oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
not ubering you a puppy
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
