i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
