singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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