I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
