so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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