Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i out mim tonsoeep
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