His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
