the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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