God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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