By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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