Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
