I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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