Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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